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) who there was a squats chance in hell that I was going to go long term with. On my ladder they were women I wanted to sleep with. I tried in the mid 70’s with another long time “friend”, Diane. We kissed, held each other tight and planned to make love the next time we got together. Within days Diane was sniping at me and getting royally vicious and shortly after that, we blew apart like a bomb that gone off. It exists for promotions or just getting ahead if that works better for you. Now that didn’t mean that my title and level of responsibility and the accompanying compensation didn’t go up. I was perpetually on the friends or “nice to have you” ladder. It is the rare bird who can make the jump from friend to lover on the dating ladder and just as rare on the work ladder.The ladder theory of dating can be applied to getting promoted. That may have explained the 4 times I was laid off. When it came down to it, the only way I made more money and attained a higher rank was to move companies. You may consider the ladder theory sexist but if you really think about it and if your mind isn’t clouded by Judeo-Christian morality, it all makes sense. I am not saying this is the norm but whenever I hear colleagues and friends complain about not getting recognized and promoted at work, but they keep getting nice raises and pats on the head now and then, I know they are on the friends ladder. Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate. Basically, there are three parts of any relationship: Comraderie (Blue like the ocean), Love (Yellow like sunshine) and Sex (Red like blood).I found the Ladder Theory web site and read the thing. Every relationship will have a certain "hue" dictated by the combination of these elements and their intensities.

I had mentioned that I find a sunset to be appealing but not necessarily want to merge with it...Mutual relationships will form when the hues are similar but if there is enough difference then you will part ways or else be in an unreciprocating relationship.So some corollaries are that friends are green (yellow blue / love comraderie), romantic lovers are orange (red yellow / sex love) and friends with benefits are purple (blue red / comraderie sex). Years later I finally understood that I had tried moving from the friends ladder to the real ladder. The ladder theory exists in the workplace and I am not just talking about getting laid. In 1997 I was promoted to a Director at Sun Microsystems. I just never got a promotion while in the same company. In terms of the ladder, I was rarely on the real ladder. Otherwise, I resigned my dating life to the perpetual status of “friend”. But in the real final analysis, I was better off as a consultant which was more like the outlaw biker described in the ladder theory. But title or brevet or not really had no intrinsic meaning. So for those of you who have stuck with me through this long explanation and haven’t been offended too much (and frankly if you are offended then that alone can screw your promotability), if you are happy in your job then stay put but if you want to get ahead and it’s just not happening, it is time for you to move on. I moved on all the time (we’re talking about work now). In the end I attained the exalted rank of Vice President with all of those juicy stock options and bonuses. I was an interim VP of HR twice and a director numerous times.

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